Monday, May 03, 2010

NOT THAT PAGAN YOGA

Yep, this is a real thing that exists.

58 comments:

Digeridude said...

Jesus Christ.

marahe said...

JANINE TURNER IS TERRIFYING!!! WHAT HAPPENED!!!

Ryan said...

I guess all the nut bags care about is changing the names? Seriously, where do these people draw the line between worship and blasphemy upon assimilating other people's ideas? Maybe we should just stamp Christ on everything so we can get on with our lives. Buddha Christ, McDonalds Christ, Jesus Fighter, Harry Potter and the Holyman's Stone, Christvolution. I better stop giving the evangelists hard-ons.

Christoga flame!

Also do those lips come with a pump I wonder?

John said...

It's that chick from Cliffhanger and various other works of shit.

Renee of the Fae said...

Wasn't she on Northern Exposure? That show was good, but now she scares me! And, seriously! Those lips!!! Is she taking make-up pointers from the ghost of Tammy Fae Baker?
EEESH!

bortosaurus said...

They left out the most important position: missionary.

Anonymous said...

I thought thou shalt not steal.

Mars said...

UCB - Upright Citizens Brigade.

Ravenhallow said...

Sweet peanutbuttery crispity crunchety Christ.

This just makes me think of that "new age is evil" video with the two mullet-y Christian singers.

Library Playground said...

Fleischman!

remembertobreathe said...

If ignorance is bliss, that explains why they are so happy perpetuating their smiling evil. How woefully uninformed and moronic these people are.

BTW, some excellently hilarious comments. I just find it so insulting that my funny bone stopped working for the moment. I literally found it painful and sad to watch, and not sure who i was more sad for...

.. but this demonstrates the kind of misunderstandings and arrogance that fuel all the religious wars in throughout history... yes i take it that far.

Anonymous said...

That's one Holy Jesus midriff.

Anonymous said...

Was that an upside down pentagram on the candle holders? I smell EVIL!

Kyle said...

"Seriously, where do these people draw the line between worship and blasphemy upon assimilating other people's ideas?"

Does anybody else remember Super 3D Noah's Ark?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_3D_Noah%27s_Ark

Anonymous said...

This... seems sort of terrifying.

filmscience said...

If I were God, I'd have non-moronic representatives on Earth.

But from what I have seen of preachers, zealots, fundamentalists, Christian "rockers" and born-agains, God truly will accept ANYONE, regardless of intelligence, charisma, or talent. Yay God! An equal-opportunity deity if ever there was one.

Destination A Go-Go said...

With a name like "ChisToga" I was thinking more white sheet fashion, rather than the soccer mom goth look.

Fat 'n Boring said...

Since when does Carol Channing do yoga for da' Lord?

Oh wait. That's Janine Turner.

fupu said...

Ryan, if you create a Harry Potter and the Holyman's Stone site for Xtian fan fic please let me know. I want to experience the greatest Poe's Law moment of our lifetime!

Ebelch said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ebelch said...

Janine Turner's last projected was titled 'Black Widow'.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005508/

Glory Corn said...

Be nice, guys. Malnourished drag queens need yoga, too.

Is it still a sin if you just rename it? Premarital sex is OK as long as you call it "Horizontal Purity Dancing"!

Dawn said...

bortosaurus said...They left out the most important position: missionary. That's a WIN!!

Chris Lanier said...

This gives a slightly different, and more contortionist, meaning to the quote: “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God”

Faggy McBitchtits said...

I hate Christards, because they say I'm going to hell for liking Huey Lewis and The News.

Faggy McBitchtits said...

I hate Christards, because they say I'm going to hell for liking Huey Lewis and The News.

Kereshmeh said...

See Alan Watts book "Nature, Man and Women" chapter 1: Urbanism and paganism.

He expresses how christianity is opposed to paganism (meaning the worship of the peasants or something like that). Putting forward this idea that chrstianity have grown into cities...

Lawrence Taylor said...

Those ladies may be saved, but if I had them in my room, they'd be having amazing carnal, lustful sex.

meg said...

i know a little something about the fisherman's boat, and that ain't it.

Marty said...

Were those yoga positions or did you guys slip in the audio for the Ways to Win at Bingo clip?!

Rick Stassi said...

This secular world will find any reason to hold contempt toward Christianity. Jesus is the only way to heaven and the Bible needs to be read, studied, and believed in faith to know this. Loving the the secular world like Jesus commanded is a challenge for us - but we are up for it in His strength. Thanks for exposing me to a new loving challenge. In His name I pray for this secular, pluralist, relativistic, lost world. Many of the comments here are out of ignorance and I apologize for Christians who judge out of Biblical context.

mediumokc said...

This is something Mardell's book store would eat up, right along with their "Got Jesus" t-shirts.

Defenestrator III: On Broken Glass said...

Thanks, Rick. Your blog comment converted me to the true path.

Rick Stassi said...

Defenestrator III: Glad to help. We'll all find out someday. I am just glad to be where I am at now and forever. Ut is interesting the way the finger gets pointed at Christians as being intolerant when we who are truly Christian take the brunt of intolerance from the world every day. It is hypocritical.

Lee W said...

Defenestrator III is joking, Rick.

By the way, if I ever saw someone in the "downward praying pose" at church, my head would blow off from laughter.

Lee W said...

My personal favorite is "Apostles Pose I"

I think my girlfriend's getting tired of that one though.

Adam said...

Looks like someone has has some plastic Christurgery

J-Dubb said...

I was already prepared to be appalled, then they made the "Two workouts in one" comment. WHY GOD!? Were they unaware that there was a camera in front of them?

Tyrone Clifford said...

I hate this stupid website. Full of dumb honkey white people.

Henry Horker said...

No, Tyrone, this website is full of some disarmingly nice people. This is might be the only comment thread I've ever seen where a Christian dude like Rick can pop up, leave a typical "woe be all you sinners" message and the worst backlash that happens is someone sarcastically says "thanks."

This is a freaking oasis of tolerance on the internet, Rick!!

Anonymous said...

ummmmm, why is there a pentagram on the candle sticks?

Pudding said...

I think this is the rare website frequented by posters intelligent and twisted enough to (almost) collectively recognize and roll with a fake flamer and then continue the conversation. :D

Guys, I... I love you guys.

Anonymous said...

¿Cuantos años tendran estas dos sirenas?

Anonymous said...

Islam is the light

John Zak said...

"I didn't want to wait to become an expert"

I was soo thrilled to be a cruise line pilot, or whatever the fuck they are, that I didn't want to wait til I was an expert, so I dropped out flew my ship. Verification: pedo. Not sure if I am able to even make that up with my small intelligence.

Steve said...

Those are not pentagrams, pentagrams have six points, those have five. Six points like the jew star.

Anonymous said...

Jesus Christ, who wears that much eyeshadow while exercising?

Spaf said...

Looks like someone forgot to hide that pentagram on the candle on the right in that first part of the clip. Subliminal influence, perhaps?

goombellashusband said...

The lips, will haunt me forever.

Amy said...

Oh dear God, I prayed this was a spoof. Black clothes? Candles and a PENTAGRAM in the background? It seemed like a mockery of Paganism, and then those totally ridiculous (and submissive, notice) pose names. Dude, where's the incense? That's all we need for our fake Pagan/Christian yoga. Taught by women who self-admittedly know NOTHING about it.

Alas, this is not a sketch from Comedy Central.

Anonymous said...

Ugh, this is two (two!) two completely insensitive insults in one! First of all, that woman looks like she wants to worship the Lord by giving him a blow job. Worshipping the Lord through meditation sounds perfectly in line with Christian doctrine and not really problematic but these women have so sexualized it that it seems like any ground they might have gained for Christians working their bodies and souls would be lost. It seems like the motivation is a lot more secular (being as sexy as possible) than about spirituality or health concerns.

I don't think I have to mention how the appropriation of yoga is insulting. I think people have already gone over this.

Not that being as sexy as possible is necessarily a bad thing. It's just that trying to use sex to sell Christianity/yoga hybrid seems to go against the point of both.

Perhaps next they can turn their attention to a new style of porn. Jesex, worship Jesus while you jerk off!

Justin said...

I love the 5 pointed star on the candlestick holder. I bet these women weigh as much as a duck! And we all know what that means..

regeya said...

Glad I'm not the only one who noticed the candlestick with the pentastar, Justin. :->

Anonymous said...

http://www.clarionledger.com/article/20100920/NEWS03/100920025/Theologian++Yoga+a+threat+to+Christianity?ref=nf

Anonymous said...

way to rip off something else.

I mean I get it.


Tofrutti. Soy milk. Imitation crab meat.


I get it. But seriously I know where yoga comes from and it didn't come from the lord.

Helga said...

I was too busy staring at the red hed's lip liner to understand what they were saying at the beginning.

Also, my favorite position was the Holy Roller.

Anonymous said...

Fucking hot.

Anonymous said...

I cannot stand Janine Turner. This further shows the true colors of how she is. She is a extremely right wing Christian Republican Conservative. Very homophobic, subtly racist (many bad incidents on Northern Exposure towards Native Americans)she is a hypocrite and a two faced bitch.
There's a lot more I could add besides she is a big supporter of Sarah Palin.