Comments on Everything Is Terrible!: THE MASTODON MILK WORKOUT

The Japanodon's voice sounded familiar. Then I...

2010-08-02T05:39:34.290-05:00

The Japanodon's voice sounded familiar. Then I heard something in the back of my mind.

STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM

cheese-topped chesse diped in liquid cheese with a...

2010-03-08T19:05:47.131-06:00

cheese-topped chesse diped in liquid cheese with a tall glass of milk

take 4 to 755 times a day

Who the hell puts cheese on their ice cream?

2010-01-16T00:32:21.602-06:00

Who the hell puts cheese on their ice cream?

"Internet alert! Internet alert!" How d...

2010-01-14T14:36:43.341-06:00

"Internet alert! Internet alert!"

How does a VHS have anything to do with the internet? Was this thing ever on the internet? If so, why the hell was the back-up put on VHS?

Screw those dairy products, I wanna eat some masto...

2010-01-09T15:40:31.323-06:00

Screw those dairy products, I wanna eat some mastodon!

holy shit internet alert, internet alert!! i bette...

2010-01-09T15:15:28.146-06:00

holy shit internet alert, internet alert!! i better pay attention now that its blatantly showing itself on my screen.

My girlfriend and I just picked up a copy of this ...

2010-01-09T13:57:38.035-06:00

My girlfriend and I just picked up a copy of this tape at our local St. Louis Goodwill about a week ago. And two days later it's on EIT! Fantastic.

Thank you, esophus! This video makes me sick.

2010-01-08T19:12:48.129-06:00

Thank you, esophus!

This video makes me sick.

Oh Shit, I'm a Local Celebrity! This video ca...

2010-01-07T11:20:57.805-06:00

Oh Shit, I'm a Local Celebrity! This video came from the Goodwill in Ozark, Missouri, and they had multiple copies if anybody wants one. Have a lovely 2010!

This is why I'm vegan - I don't want to be...

2010-01-07T09:23:42.003-06:00

This is why I'm vegan - I don't want to be a mastodon!

The only beast I can think of that says milk to me...

2010-01-07T00:02:45.652-06:00

The only beast I can think of that says milk to me more than a Mastodon is a Centaur. Hell yea!

What?! Not even ONE mention of how the calcium hel...

2010-01-06T22:55:52.054-06:00

What?! Not even ONE mention of how the calcium helps keep their tusks all shiney and white?!?!!? WTF, people...

My family runs a dairy farm, and it always pissed ...

2010-01-06T18:59:59.412-06:00

My family runs a dairy farm, and it always pissed me off that a small portion of our milk checks went to fund garbage like this.

Yes, Brian. That topic was covered just prior to t...

2010-01-06T15:15:18.184-06:00

Yes, Brian. That topic was covered just prior to the Internet Alert.

Were they implying that I should put cheese on my ...

2010-01-06T08:44:06.920-06:00

Were they implying that I should put cheese on my ice cream?

now listen here. i don't know what type of soy...

2010-01-06T03:25:59.689-06:00

now listen here. i don't know what type of soy milk sippin' tofurkey planet you assholes come from, but around here we drink milk. there is one reason that this country is great and it comes in four types. whole, 2%, 1% and skim. you can keep your granola tofu to yourself and let me and my family enjoy our pizzaburgers in peace.

Nothing says eating healthy like hamburgers, pizza...

2010-01-05T23:48:26.833-06:00

Nothing says eating healthy like hamburgers, pizza, and nachos.

Watch out for those growth hormones and cancer cau...

2010-01-05T21:15:41.569-06:00

Watch out for those growth hormones and cancer causing casien.

Now I want to put that "INTERNET ALERT! INTER...

2010-01-05T18:49:46.314-06:00

Now I want to put that "INTERNET ALERT! INTERNET ALERT!" at the beginning of every blog post I make.

If I have a glass...or four...will you please shut...

2010-01-05T18:01:25.655-06:00

If I have a glass...or four...will you please shut up?!

so solly, most unfotunate, i aporogize

2010-01-05T14:44:54.992-06:00

so solly, most unfotunate, i aporogize

Man, I hated eating cheese until these horrifying ...

2010-01-05T14:32:27.438-06:00

Man, I hated eating cheese until these horrifying elephant-men told me how radical cheese is.

Seriously, I can tell when a fellow illustrator gets assigned a stupid project to work on and is just, "aw, screw this". This looks like the guy read the instructions for the short and instead said, "Aw, screw *you*!"

I will bet you a large pizza covered in artery-clogging goodness that this was made during the post-"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" Anthropomorphic Animal Superhero craze.

That Green Mastadon must be pretty smart to have l...

2010-01-05T13:10:26.517-06:00

That Green Mastadon must be pretty smart to have learned Japanese and bad English in such a short time after arriving on Earth. Must be all those milk products we all know the Japanese love to consume.

Nothing says nutrition like hamburgers, pizza and ...

2010-01-05T11:57:55.193-06:00

Nothing says nutrition like hamburgers, pizza and nachos.

Right-o, Phil. And especially terrible in how the...

2010-01-05T11:52:01.668-06:00

Right-o, Phil. And especially terrible in how the Italian mastodon is shorter than the Asian one. Preposterous!